4 Abundant life ~ Be Kind to Yourself

4 Abundant life Blog #3

Be Kind to Yourself

People tend to be the hardest judge on themselves. It is easy to beat yourself up when you make a mistake. It is common to criticize our physical characteristics, mannerisms, or behaviors. One reason is based on our ego-centrism and that is a tool the enemy uses against us. Remember, the enemy comes only to “steal, kill, and destroy”. It is our job to recognize these attacks and overcome them. Here are 3 practical things to be kind to yourself that transforms our behaviors, thinking, and abundance experiences:

• Biology and Self-Talk. The biological subconscious is part of our earthly ego-centrism and weakness that limits abundance. The subconscious is simply a “servo-mechanism” portion of the brain that influences behavior. That means, the subconscious does what it is told to do by the conscious. However, if the conscious is not telling it to do anything, it will resist any type of change. Therefore, key-words (e.g., ‘have to’, ‘need to’, ‘should have’, ‘could have’) must be recognized and replaced (e.g., ‘want to’, ‘choose to’, ‘like to’, ‘love to’) in order to keep the subconscious from limiting abundance in our lives. For example, if you wake up on Monday morning and say “I have to mow the yard after work”. Your subconscious already told your conscious “No you don’t”. The subconscious is actually correct in this transmission of information. Consequently, you will end up finding excuses not to mow the yard (feel free to substitute any behavioral action that is not overtly enjoyable here). However, if you wake up and say, “I choose to mow the yard after work today”, the subconscious does not resist and cannot override the conscious. You will complete the intended action because of intentional self-talk.

• Speak Positive Affirmations. It is very important to understand and confirm your identity everyday. Remember, if you are a child of the King of Kings, that makes you a prince or princess. Project that image upon yourself (Prince William, Princess Kate, Princess Diana, pick one). This will allow you to speak positively about yourself:

• I like and respect myself. I am a worthy, capable, and valuable person.

• I guide my own destiny, and I am accountable for the results of my decisions and actions. I reinforce my successes and correct for errors.

• I am optimistic about life, and I look forward to and enjoy new challenges.

• I enjoy my life, my profession, and my relationships with other people.

• I have a positive expectancy of reaching my goals, and I bounce back quickly from temporary setbacks.

• I have a broad awareness of what is going on around me – especially the opportunities which will help me reach my goals.

• I have a clear identity, purpose, and attitude toward goals of abundant life everyday.

• What we Focus on Expands. Whether positive or negative, everything we speak is given power to action. For example, if we wake up and say “I hate Mondays”, you will find every negative reason to reinforce that belief and statement. However, if you wake up and say “I look forward to positive experiences Monday:, you will find every positive reason and experience to reinforce that belief and statement. Rodney Cooper (author of Double Bind) said it best, “There is no such thing as a bad day…There are days when we live well…and there are days when we learn well”.

Application:

• How many times do you say, ‘have to’, ‘need to’, ‘should have’, ‘could have’, in a day? Count them. Count your significant others. Make a decision to replace those abundance limiting phrases with, ‘want to’, ‘choose to’, ‘like to’, ‘love to’. Have a competition to see who can speak the fewest limiting self-talk phrases and make it fun.

• When was the last time you spoke a positive affirmation about yourself? What do you think would change if you did? Remember, you are a prince or princess! Try some of the ones above or create your own.

• What do you focus on? Is it positive? Is it negative? Why? How might you focus on the positives of everyday?

There is more on this topic in Chapter 3 of our book “4 Abundant Life”. Once again, we look forward to hearing about your experiences changing your self-talk; speaking positive affirmations about yourself; and focusing on the positives! Drs. Eric and Joanna Oestmann